John 20:19-31
- Barney is an old soldier for whom the war is never far away. Attached to an engineering battalion during WWII, he was in
France soon after D-Day –June 6, 1944. Sometime the following winter, in the midst of heavy fighting, a German white
phosphorous shell landed several yards away from Barney. He remembers distinctly, being thrown up into the air and then
the lights went out. He doesn’t know if it was hours or days later, a medic unit found him and presumed that he was dead. It
was only when they moved him that they found he was very much alive! Barney spent the better part of a year recuperating
from the injuries he received. He was severely burned and lost an eye. His legs were mangled and his back broken, but he
survived. The memory of that shell coming in, the terrific explosion and the pain –and the months of agonizing recovery are
still with him, 55 years after the fact. He was scarred for life.
Barney is an amazing man. Though he was scarred for life –and offered total disability upon his discharge, he could not accept it, nor could he feel sorry for himself. He married his hometown sweetheart, fathered five children and worked as a brick mason until his war wounds forced him to retire –at 66. He wears his scars well. The memory of how he received them is always there; he lives with them. But in 55 years, he’s lived well and by grace. - Rodney is another man who lives with his scars. He’s an over-the road trucker, raised in Beach Bottom, W.Va. His home
life could not have been worse. His alcoholic parents made life quite difficult for the family. His father, Rodney said, “would
beat you ‘soon as look at you'.” His mother ran off not just once, but several times with other men. He joined the marines
and found that boot camp was not only enjoyable, but also preferable to his home life! He bears many scars.
Then he met Tammy, who was as good as his home life was bad. He could barely contain his excitement at the thought of marrying Tammy. He contacted his father and also his mother and they agreed to attend the wedding. On the day of the wedding, his dad and two brothers arrived. They looked around, said hello, got back in their car and left before the service even began. His mother never even showed. As the bride’s mother carried her candle down the aisle, Rodney looked at me with tears. “May I have my mother’s candle?” he asked. Then he walked the center aisle in his mother’s place and I watched as the tears streamed down the face of that burley but gentle trucker. He lives with many scars.
- In the movie, Sophie’s Choice, actress Meryl Streep, portrayed a beautiful Polish Catholic who survived Auschwitz and was left with no family. Displaced by the war, she finds herself in Brooklyn, living with Nathan, her schizophrenic American Jewish lover. Sophie was so scarred inside by all she had seen in the death camps. Her choice was to end her life --for her life was far too painful for words; the flashbacks - too real, too intense - ever intruding into her life. She felt that she could not live with the pain. The scars inside killed her long before she died by her own hand.
We meet him the following week, after the disciples had firsthand knowledge of Jesus’ resurrection. “I won’t believe it until I put my fingers in the nail prints; my hand in his wounded side,” Thomas says. But doubt is not the issue. And if not, what then is the issue?
John makes the connection between the work Jesus did on the cross and scars on his resurrected body. That he was raised from the dead did not erase his scars or the memory of that awful day of suffering and shame, we have come to call “Good Friday.“ The risen Christ bears his scars. The God wounded for our transgressions –who heals our wounds, still bears his wounds.
Barney still bears the scars of war deep upon his body. Rodney bears the scars of a troubled home life deep in his soul. And I’m sure that everyone here bears the scars of some incident or accident. The sound of bone breaking the day you fell from that tree, or the sound of the door slamming the day the one to whom you pledged your life left for good. The scars from that near-fatal car accident, or from the hurt and pain of betrayal are still visible. And the scars from the nails in hands and feet, from the spear that pierced his side, are yet borne by Jesus.
“Come to Jesus” he said. “Come and your heart will be brand new. I guarantee that if you become a Christian, you’ll never worry again!” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! This well-meaning clergy friend said this to a woman just days after her mastectomy! I left the room before I said something I would regret. There are some who believe that Easter has overcome all our problems and trials. It does not! Jesus never claimed that our lives would be trouble-free or without struggle. He never said we’d live on Easy Street if we put our faith in him. Faith in Jesus does not deny the pain of our life, nor the reality of our wounds, or the presence of our scars. Faith in Jesus means that we believe he will be with us. He will place his nail-scarred hand in ours, and walk with us toward our healing. For some it is a longer walk than for others.
That is where Thomas becomes for us a symbol of grace. It wasn’t so much that Thomas doubted, but that he hurt so badly. He could not bear to hear nice platitudes about love or springtime; he needed to know that Jesus was there in the flesh –in reality. Not a “virtual Jesus”, but a real one, who bore our pain, who knew life and hurt and death firsthand. He understood before any of the others, that only a wounded God could save a wounded, broken soul. “My Lord and my God,” he said as he bowed before Jesus.
The grace of it –for Thomas—and for us, was that Jesus really has risen from the dead. He could handle Thomas’ misgivings. He invited them. He was there, scars and all to prove his care. He can handle yours, too. “There lives more faith in honest doubt, believe me, than in half the creeds.” (Tennyson)
- Diane Salter tells of a church meeting where many stood up to witness to their faith. It was, she said, a joyous time of celebration. But one woman stood and said, “I wish I could believe like all of you, but I can’t. I don’t have your faith.” There was quiet for a moment. A few cleared their throats; it was awkward, though honest. Afterward, several people sought the woman out and tried to understand where she was coming from. They stayed with it. A year later, the same woman stood and gave witness to a vibrant faith in Jesus. What happened to cause this change? I’m not sure of the particulars, but I’d guess that some showed her their scars. Now, she believes.
(Comments to Bob at cooks@netrax.net.)
St. Paul UMC
Chambersburg, PA