Around the corner from my house we have a day care center. They are responsible for one of the true signs of spring: Now that the snow has abated, the children go out for walks. About 12 to 16 of them at a time, all holding onto a special ropes, with little grips on either side of the length. The children grab hold and out they come for their daily walk… all it pair. We call them the “Baby Chain Gang”

I’m not sure what happens if you let go of the rope. I imagine that you don’t get to go on the next walk…. Whatever the inducement, these children hold on to the rope for dear life.

Have you ever felt like that? Hanging on for dear life?

I went to the zoo on Friday with my best friend and his seven month old son… it was great. It was cool, so most of the animals were moving about, but even as they moved about I couldn’t get over how small the areas seemed. I know that they take great care of the animals at the Toronto Zoo… but I couldn’t help but feel for the tiger as he paced the fence that surrounded him.

No matter how loud he may roar, he’s fenced in. No matter how easy his life may seem… he’s in a cage. Do you recognize that feeling? Locked in. Locked up…

It’s not about walls, really. For us, it is usually fear that locks us in; locks us up…. afraid of what might happen, what might not happen. Afraid to speak to your children, afraid they won’t speak to you. Afraid that people will talk about you….. afraid that they already are. Afraid of doing the wrongrs/ying. Afraid of not being able to do the right thing. Afraid to go to work, afraid to stay at home. Afraid of not being good enough, afraid of not measuring up. Afraid of dying. Afraid of living.

Sometimes it is that dramatic: life and death. Something grips us and we can’t move. Sometimes it’s not so dramatic.

I get ticked off when I go to pick up one of my sons from work and he’s late. I hate sitting in a parking lot for twenty minutes waiting…. I could be out doing things! When he finally gets to the car, I would like to say, “Hey, good to see you… what kept you?”

But more often than not, I’m locked up with my need to be important… my need to be valued, so he gets a lecture on how important my time is…. And I get nothing. No chatter about work. No requests for advice. No insight into my son’s life… we go home in silence. Both of us locked in… trapped inside the cold, dark car, for a cold, dark ride home.

I know that I’m not alone. There are more of us locked in.

I have heard that the game show fad is fading… Who Wants to Be a Millionaire is losing it’s appeal, even Jeopardy isn’t holding audiences like it used to. I hate to say it, but you do you know which show I’ll miss. Weakest Link. It is everything that is wrong with Television and with society… and yet, I can’t help but watch (once in a while) as the contestants answer questions and then cut one member of the team with each round… until finally only two survive to compete head to head. The host makes scathing critical comments about the contestants and when the votes are in she announces the results and says to the unfortunate one, “You are the weakest link… good bye!”

I think I watch it because I understand the feeling. Have you ever felt like that? The weakest link? Holding everybody back… or simply not being able to keep up with everybody. You look around and people all seem so happy, so satisfied… but you’re not. You’re the weakest link. You look around at church and you see people with incredible faith… they’ve not phased by anything… they lose their jobs, they go to hospital, they lose loved ones…. And yet somehow they have a sure and steadfast faith…. And sometimes, just sometimes, you feel like the weakest link.

You and I make mistakes. Sometimes we’re afraid. Sometimes we hold on too tight… sometimes we feel locked in……

I know another group of people like us. Huddled together. Afraid to go out. The doors were shut for fear: Those stalwart bastions of the church. Those disciples. Those Apostles for whom we have named thousands upon thousands of churches. They were hiding. Huddled together. Afraid.

And what happened? Jesus came and stood among them. Not on high, as you might expect. Not lording over them - but among them. With them. The same as them.

Upon his arrival, does he have a speech for the huddled scardy-cats? Does he give them the ol’ stiff upper lip speech? Does he question their faith, that they should be afraid? Does he berate them for hiding out when they should be helping others? No. He speaks to their fear and says, “Peace be with you.” Afraid. Unsure. Jesus stood among them. Locked up and locked in - trapped by their lives and the world around them - surely we all know what that feels like - God came to them. Why?

Is it because they were disciples? Is it because they knew the secret words - a special dance. Is it because they had the right politics, knew all the modern expressions and words, sang the right hymns, fought the right fights and went to the right church? I don’t think so. I think simply that Jesus came to them because they needed him…. And they were looking for Jesus.

They were looking for Jesus. That’s what happened with Thomas. He arrived and his friends told him the good news. They told him that the Risen Christ had been among them. But Thomas wanted to see for himself. And so Jesus came. Not because Thomas believed. Not because he didn’t have doubts. Not because he had all the answers - but because he wanted to see Jesus.

And that simply put folks - is the message. You want to be closer to God? You want to find peace? Then want to see Jesus.

Sounds obvious - but it’s not. Lots of people come to church, but they are not looking for Jesus. They like the community - they enjoy the social and even the community action part of church - but they are not really looking for Jesus. Jesus might make them change their minds or their attitudes….. Jesus might question their opinions. Jesus might force them to reconsider.

I’ve been in those churches - I’ve met those people - frankly, I’ve been one of those people….. We have all the answers. We know what’s right and what’s wrong. We know who’s in and who’s out. We are so sure of ourselves that really, we don’t need Jesus and we aren’t looking for Jesus - we aren’t looking for God. Because God will just confuse things - you see, we already have the answers. We’re just kind of looking for God to confirm what we already know

But Thomas was looking for Jesus. And Jesus came. Through the locked doors, the closed shutters, the fear and trembling. Through the arrogance and the ignorance. Not only through the doubts and the questions - but because of the doubts and the questions. If Thomas had no doubts - then it would have been easy for him to assume that the had no need for Jesus. Do you see what I’m saying?

If Jesus is the answer - we need to have questions! We can’t afford to be smug and so sure of ourselves. We need to be a little bit hungry - wondering - not so sure of ourselves - that’s when Jesus enters in and says “Peace be with you”.

But there’s more…. Some of us want to see Jesus - but we want to see him make it all better. We want to see him fix the problems, undo the knots, take us back in time to place where there are no problems. Jesus doesn’t do that - yes, there are wonderfully stories of healing and miraculous changes - but there are other stories as well.

In the Gospel this morning, when Jesus arrived, what did he do? Did he undo the resurrection? Did he make everything alright? Actually, he just showed Thomas his scars. Somehow here, some connection is being made between belief in the Risen Christ and the scars of Christ. The Risen Christ has scars. Being raised from the dead did not erase his scars. The Christ of Easter bears the scars made on Good Friday. Jesus' disciples like Thomas recognized him as risen only by touching his scars.

Easter, the stunning triumph of God, the great victory over death and defeat, does not erase the scars. And that is hard news for some of us. We want the scars to go away. We want everything made right. We want all the news to be good.

But to be human is to have scars. We all have them. Jesus had them. In confronting Thomas, Jesus was recognized by his scars.

We all know those people, that as soon as we meet them, they want to show us their scars, don’t we? “Got this one fishing for lake trout… that fish was so big, it pulled me right out of the boat and I got this trying to hold on…”

“I was in the hospital for almost 2 weeks, dear, and all I have to show for it is this patch of skin, that simply won’t tan”

“I got my white hairs from my kids…. Have I told you about them?”

“Ahhh… old football injury…. Have I told you about the big game?”

And we do it, too. We might wait until we know someone a little better… but eventually we show them our scars. Scars tell people that we are human. We’ve lived. We’re not bystanders, we have been involved. We not just watched from the sidelines… we’ve been part.

Jesus’ scars told the Apostles and more importantly, tell us…. God is not a bystander. God is involved. Further, God, through Jesus’ scars, understands our scars…

When you’re going through hell, who do you want to talk to? Now, I know a lot of us would just a soon not talk to anyone… but imagine that you actually believed that talking to someone would help (it does, incidentally)… imagine that you had to talk to someone. Who do want to talk to?

The person who is holy and kind and wonderful and seemingly untouched by the world or the one has been there, and a few scars to show for it?

When my heart was broken as a young man, I sought out others who had been there. Usually we sat around and said terrible things about the girl that had dumped me…. But later, someone would emerge who had been hurt too…. And their companionship was what really helped.

When I’ve been touched by the death of someone close to me, I have sought out others who have been through it… their advice is learned… but more than that, they have been through it and somehow survived; being with them reminds me that I will survive.

Jesus comes and shows his scars and in doing so affirms that he is human – just like us. He understands. But more than that, he assures that we will survive.

We will survive humiliation.

We will survive disappointment.

We will survive loss.

We will survive betrayal.

We will even survive death….

Jesus stood among them and said, “Peace be with you” And that’s what this is all about. Jesus offers us peace. Not because we have great faith, not because we go to the right church, not because we are so clever - but because we need it. He offers us that peace, sometimes miraculously and sometimes by showing us his wounds. Showing his wounds and assuring us, that he knows how we feel, showing us that he has been to hell and survived, and we will too. Peace is the promise, and in wanting to see Jesus - we can all experience it.

(Comments to Norm at norman.seli@sympatico.ca.)

Enniskillen & Tyrone United Churches, Ontario Canada