Fear, Faith, Forgiveness
by Sharon Jacobsen

Our Gospel story takes us today to the evening of Easter day.  A few
of the disciples went to the tomb after Mary came to tell them it was empty.
They too found it empty.  And then later, Mary returned with the astounding
news:  "I have seen the Lord!" And yet, here they are, hiding.  Why are they
afraid?
	
Some of them did not believe Mary.  They were afraid because the
rumor of Jesus alive might bring violence once again.  They were in danger
of the Roman army rounding them all up to make sure that this Jesus did not
live on in his followers.  
	
Some of them believed. But what would happen now that Jesus knew
that they had all denied him.  They had run away rather than protest.  They
had not been faithful followers.  
	
All of them, not only Thomas, were living between doubt and faith,
with many questions.  The future was unpredictable now.  They were trying to
be safe. 
	
And then Jesus appeared, somehow inside, in spite of the locked
doors.  I imagine that they cowered in fear when they saw him.  Was he a
ghost?  And if he was truly Jesus, surely it would be the time to separate
the wheat from the chaff.  They had not been faithful.  They had not taken
up their cross to follow him.
	
Jesus says, "Peace be with you."  He showed them his wounds, still
visible, most probably still painful to the touch.  Yes, he had suffered,
and they had not come to his defense.  Yet, here he was with them,
understanding their confusion, their doubt, their flight to safety.  He said
again, "Peace be with you."  They finally believed. And they rejoiced.
Thomas wasn't with them.  So the others told him about it.  But it wasn't
until the next week, when he too saw for himself, that he believed. 
	
From fear to faith.  How does that happen for us?  We who have no
opportunity to cast away our doubts by seeing for ourselves the wounds, the
reality of suffering turned into joy, of death turned into life.  Jesus said
to Thomas, "Do not doubt, but believe."  And he responded, "My Lord, and my
God!"  because he saw for himself!
	
Wouldn't that be wonderful for us all?  I don't know about you, but
I have never even dreamed of Jesus coming to me like that, in his body,
inviting me to touch his wounds.  We have to believe through what we hear,
not what we see.  The ancestors of our faith wrote it all down for us.  We
have Peter's strong testimony ( the same Peter who had denied Jesus three
times )recorded in the book of Acts:  ".listen to what I have to say: 'Jesus
of Nazareth, a man attested to you by God with deeds of power, wonders, and
signs that God did through him among you, as you yourselves know---this
man,..you crucified and killed by the hands of those outside the law.  But
God raised him up, having freed him from death, because it was impossible
for him to be held in its power."  "Blessed are those who have not seen and
yet come to believe," Jesus says to those of us who must believe by hearing
the testimony of those who did see.
	
We do see, sometimes. We experience resurrection and new life when
relationships are restored.  When churches that seem to be dying come back
into new and vibrant ministry, when health is restored after suffering and
illness, when depression is lifted, when delight becomes possible again
after a long period of grief. 
	
Sometimes, when the wounds are still visible, even in the midst of
hurt, we experience the resurrection. Sharing our own stories of
resurrection in our own experience is so important to our community --- we
come to faith by hearing and seeing.
	
So now Jesus has come.  And they believe.  And today we hear their
witness, and we see the power of the Holy Spirit, the living Christ, among
us.  And we believe too.  Although we ask God to forgive our unbelief.  Many
times we would rather be safe.
	
But Jesus doesn't let us stay in safety. He said to those disciples,
"As the Father sent me, so send I you."  After all their failure, he trusted
them to witness to the world. 
	
To give them courage in the faith they had just received, Jesus
breathed on them.  
	
Now you have to be very close to someone in order for them to feel
your breath.  I imagine that breath as an individual moment for each of
them.  "Receive the Holy Spirit."  The words whispered close to your ear.
The power of the Spirit moving into your soul, directly from this
resurrected Christ.  "Receive the Holy Spirit."  From fear to faith - - from
faith to witness.  "So send I you."
	
There was something else in that room that was closed off from the
world.   It was forgiveness.  For each disciple carried within him his own
guilt.  Each one carried his own doubt.  Each one had lost faith and chosen
safety over the truth.  There could be no peace until Jesus came with those
words, "Peace be with you."  
	
The disciples experienced Christ's forgiveness that evening, while
his wounds were still visible to them.  Eugene Peterson, in his translation,
The Message, paraphrases Jesus' words this way:  "If you forgive someone's
sins, they're gone for good. If you don't forgive sins, what are you going
to do with them?  
	 
Jesus, who has forgiven us and made us new, now sends us out in
peace, into the world, the country, our communities, our churches to
proclaim that we are saved from our sinfulness --- that it is possible,
through the Holy Spirit, to be resurrected, to begin again without guilt,
fresh and new, reconciled with one another.  The power of the Holy Spirit
makes that possible.    

Here's an example. in South Africa in 1995, a court-like body was
established and assembler to hear both victims and perpetrators of the
former violence of apartheid.  It was known as the Truth and Reconciliation
Commission, or TRC.  The mandate of the commission, presided over by
Archbishop Desmond Tutu was to listen to and record the true stories of the
victims and perpetrators alike.  And then, to consider amnesty for those who
asked, and reparation and rehabilitation.  All testimony was placed on
record.  Public hearings were held all over South Africa.  Victims and
perpetrators heard one another.  The report was published in 1998.  Many
believe that telling and hearing these stories, as difficult as they were to
tell and hear,  enabled both victims and perpetrators to forgive one another
and the beginnings of reconciliation to take place. 
	
These past few weeks, as we followed the presidential contest.
Barach Obama reminded us that there are complexities of race in this country
that we've never really worked through. Many of us  white people  wonder why
we cannot just move on. Perhaps we have not taken the time and energy to
hear each others' stories. 
	
If we knew the stories, we would see a common theme: Through
legalized discrimination, Blacks were denied owning property, taking out
loans, getting mortgages, and excluded from unions, police forces and fire
departments.  They were denied employment and the ability to rise to
leadership positions. 
	
Much of that has changed now, but the results are still with us.
While white people were able to make up the economic ladder by their hard
work, and improve the  economic position of their children through gifts and
inheritances, that was not possible for Blacks. There was no such thing as
inheriting the family farm, the family business, or benefit from the family
bank account. The effects of racism continue, and that fact is well known by
the African American community.  Unable to get a leg up, many families still
live in poverty, magnified by their despair --- and resentment that they are
being blamed for their own plight.
	
A Native American proverb says, "Do not criticize your neighbor
until you have walked a mile in his moccasins. 
	
Jesus was able to do that - to perfectly put himself into the human
condition and understand each of us.  And when he was able to do that, he
had compassion.  He gave us the grace of forgiveness and love.  He calls us
to do the same.  To forgive one another as we have been forgiven.  To put
ourselves into the shoes of those around us and recognize the hurts that we
have done to them - and to ask for forgiveness.  To put ourselves into the
shoes of those around us who have hurt us ---and to forgive.
	
The Holy Spirit is with us to make that possible.  We will be able
to tell our stories - both about how we have been abused and how we have
abused others.  By sharing together, we will learn to forgive and begin
anew.
	
He is Risen!  New life has been promised through the Holy Spirit!
Alleluia!

(Comments to Sharon at uccrev@roadrunner.com.)
Baltic Parish UCC
Sharon Jacobsen
203 N Butler St.
Baltic, OH 43804