Lent 2
by Frank Fisher, Obl OSB

"Abram!

Abram!

Yes you,
Abram.
Come out there
from where you"re hiding.
Don"t you know I can see you
no matter how many bushes you find
to cower behind?"

"Who's calling me,"
you answer hesitatingly.
For you can see all the terrain around you
and your body trembles with fear
as you observe 
. . . nothing.
Your name,
of course,
is Abram.
And you seem to be having a bad day.
Already you can imagine you wife Sarai's reaction
if you go home and tell her
you've been hearing voices from the air.

So you turn around slowly
and begin to saunter
back toward your camp.
Maybe,
you think,
if I get away from here,
whoever"s calling me
will simply go away.

But before you take two paces
the voice sounds again.
"Abram!
Where do you think you"re going?"
It appears
the Owner of the Voice
is not 
going to be easily dissuaded.

Whoever"s calling you
also seems 
to be getting a bit annoyed. 
So you decide to humor
your verbal hallucination.
"Oh,
You mean me,"
you choke out in reply.
"Why I'm just going back 
to my father's house.
You know,
the one
 just over the hill there.
But if you wait for me
right here,
I"ll come back 
in just a few minutes."

"Forget your Father's house
 Abram,"
the voice commands.
"Sarai's got all your stuff packed.
Its time for you
to hit the road for me.
Oh,
and by the way,
don't you think 
you really should
take off your shoes 
and kneel
when God 
speaks to you."

That statement
got your attention.
You might even say
it got your 
full attention.
Or at least as much
 of your attention
as you can pay to anything
from the place  
where you're now prostrated flat
upon the ground.
But when no fire flashes
 from the skies
to consume you,
you hesitantly look up
and venture a reply.

"Where am I to go,
 Holy One,"
you ask?
"You're leaving this place,
 Abram,"
comes back
 the immediate reply.
You and Sarai
 will leave your kindred
and go away to the place I show you.
And in that place
 I will make you two 
into a great nation.
Your name shall be so great
the sound of it
will be a blessing."

Just then
you hear the sound 
of Sarai's voice;
a voice which seems
 to be accompanied
by the jingling harnesses
of many donkeys.
So you arise to your feet,
and you begin to walk.
You don't know
where you are going.
You don't know
when you'll arrive.
But somehow 
you have faith;
faith
that there is a way;
faith
 that you will be 
shown the way;
faith
 that the One 
who leads you onward
will never leave you.

"Nicodemus.

Nicodemus.

Come forward, Nicodemus.

I AM
the One you're seeking."

In your surprise
you stumble over 
a rock  in the dark,
and stifle a curse.
Somehow you know
the one who's spoken to you
wouldn't appreciate 
being replied to
with harsh language.
For your name is Nicodemus,
a leader of Judah,
and you've come seeking 
the one
called Jesus of Nazareth.

A person in your position
isn't used to the need
 to sneak around 
in the dark
like you do now.
You stumble again
and bewail the necessity
driving you 
to slink about from shadow
to shadow.
It's unfortunate
you think 
for an instant,
that you do need to sneak.
But you know 
the other Judean leaders
would never tolerate
 your seeking out Jesus.
You also know
the darkness of this night
 is fitting.
For it echoes the darkness
 you feel
deep inside you;
darkness 
which has come upon you
since you've began to feel
 a vast separation
between yourself
and the Lord
 your God.

"Nicodemus,
what are you waiting for,"
the voice asks again?
And gathering your courage
you stumble ahead
and find Jesus
 sitting calmly
and awaiting your arrival.
You're committed 
to this conversation now
so your voice 
begins to blurt out
what you feel 
in your heart.


You begin to tell Jesus
about all the good things 
you do
for so many people
Surely,
you think
Jesus will appreciate 
and applaud you
for all the good 
you've done.
Then you think
since he'll be convinced 
about what a good person 
you are,
he'll tell you 
how to wipe out
the godless darkness
dwelling inside you.

But of course
 you don't want to be impolite
so you also offer Jesus 
a compliment
before you get down
to your ultimate questions.
"Rabbi,
 we know you're a teacher 
who's come from God;
 for no one 
can do these signs 
you do
 apart 
from the presence of God."

Your last word
hasn't even faded from the air
when Jesus replies.
 "Very truly,
 I tell you, 
no one 
can see the kingdom of God
without being reborn 
in a birth
coming from above."

Your tired brain
struggles 
to comprehend these words 
for a moment.
But despite how you ponder
you can't seem to understand.
So you say to Jesus,
 "How can anyone be born
 after having
 grown old?
 Can one enter a second time
 into the mother"s womb
 and be born?"

Jesus simply smiles sadly
 at your bewilderment
and answers,
 "Very truly,
 I tell you,
 no one 
can enter the kingdom of God
without being born 
of water and Spirit.
What is born 
of the flesh 
is flesh,
 and what is born 
of the Spirit 
is spirit.
 Do not be astonished
 that I said to you,
 "You must be reborn 
in a birth 
coming 
from above.
The wind blows 
where it chooses,
 and you hear 
the sound of it,
 but you do not know 
where it comes from
 or where it goes.
 So it is
 with everyone 
who is born
 of the Spirit."

Now you're 
really bewildered.
And you reply 
almost desperately,
 "How can these things be?
This time 
Jesus shakes his head
as he answers you,
 "Are you 
a teacher of Israel,
 and yet 
you do not understand
 these things?
Very truly,
  I tell you,
 we speak 
of what we know
and testify
 to what we have seen;
 yet you don't receive 
our testimony.
If I've told you
 about earthly things
 and you do not believe,
 how can you believe
 if I tell you
 about heavenly things?
No one
 has ascended into heaven
 except the one 
who descended from heaven,
 the Son of Man.
 And just as Moses 
lifted up the serpent in the wilderness,
 so must the Son of Man 
be lifted up,
that whoever believes in him
 may have eternal life.
For God so loved the world
 that he gave 
his only Son,
 so that everyone 
who believes in him
 may not perish
 but may have eternal life.
Indeed,
 God did not send 
the Son into the world
 to condemn the world,
 but in order that the world 
might be saved 
through him."

You went away from Jesus
with your questions unasked
on that night;
a night 
that seems so long ago now.
For since that night
you began to seek out Jesus
in the light of day.
Somehow
what anyone 
else thought about that
didn't seem to matter anymore.
Then,
you began to sit at his feet
and learn as a disciple.

And since the events of Passover
you understand more
about what Jesus
 was talking about.
You saw him lifted up
on the hill called Golgotha.
You cried with joy
when you saw him 
appear among you again
on the day 
after the Sabbath.
And now,
even with him 
ascended again
to the place 
from which he came,
you follow him.

The darkness 
you felt inside
still returns 
from time to time.
But now you glimpse 
again and again
a measure of light.
And this light
you understand
isn't a result 
of anything 
you've done
or anything 
you'll do.
Nothing you could do
could merit it.

For the light inside you
is a free 
and completely 
unearned gift from God.
A gift leting you 
step out
on the way.
You don't know
where you're going.
You don't know
when you'll arrive.
But somehow 
you have faith;
faith
 that there is a way;
faith
 that you will be 
shown the way;
faith
 that the Christ who leads you onward
will never leave you
in your journey
from darkness 
into blazing light.

Somewhere inside you,
a voice calls our real names.
It calls us
 again and again
and bids us
 embark
on a journey
to a place 
we don't see
 or understand.

It may call to us
 to continue 
walking through life
while trusting
one we loved dearly
is indeed safe 
in the hands of God.

It may call us
to work
 to make our congregation
come alive
as it steps out 
in the midst of darkness
to ride the Spirits Breath
into a future we can't see
and can't 
yet imagine.

It continually calls us
to step 
into another life;
the life
 of a disciple
of Jesus the Christ.

Often 
we reply back,
"I don't understand.
How can I go ahead
in the midst
 of my grief?
How can I go ahead
when I can't see
 the way
my church 
can be made alive?
How can I 
live as your disciple
when I don"t know
where you'll 
lead me to go,
and what you'll 
lead me 
to do?"

And the voice simply answers,
"come.
The grace 
to believe 
in the way
and to walk 
the path
is my gift to you.

Come.

Through this gift
 of faith 

 I will lead you
on the way."

The voice calls.

The hand that leads us
firmly clasps 
our hands.

It's time
to step out on the way
hand in hand
with the One
 who is the way,
the truth,
and the life.

To God alone be glory.

Amen.

(Comments to Frank at f.fisher.obl.osb@comcast.net.)
Interim Pastor
Central Presbyterian Church of New Lenox, IL
Oblate of St. Benedict's Abbey in Bartonville, IL