Lent 2
Lent 2
by Lanie LeBlanc, OP

This weekend's readings are about the wonderous ways God manifests Himself to His people. I believe in this history and I believe God manifests Himself even today. Still, I often feel so much like Abram in crying out "O Lord God, how am I to know that I am to possess it?" The "it" in my case seems to be peace in the midst of hardships and disappointments and great burdens. I believe that God blesses me as one of His own among the baptized, even in the midst of strife. I seem to either have strong faith that "good" shall come out of whatever trials happen or wonder if I will ever witness that good in my lifetime... or sometimes I feel both ways at the same time! I never seem to question if Heaven will be Heaven though; it's only the earthly life I question.

Perhaps like Peter, James, and John in today's Gospel, I am not ready to understand what it is I do see. The "no" when I am sure the best answer should be "yes", witnessing someone's suffering that just doesn't seem to have to be, or just feeling helpless about a personal shortcoming that I wish I could change are part of this life's journey, yet they seem to cloud the greatness of God to (but not in) my eyes. I often ask "How is God working here?" because I do believe He is and He does, but I rarely know how. Perhaps I, too, need to "listen to Him", the chosen Son,even if I don't hear the voice of God.

As Paul tells the Philippians to do, I try to join with other like-minded believers and remember God's covenant and His greatness. If I believe that my "citizenship is in heaven" which I do, then perhaps my uncertainty and uncomfortableness here are just supposed to be. I, too, must "await a savior, the Lord Jesus Christ" to make things right, in accordance with the covenant of the Father. The very best thing for me to do right now is to "stand firm in the Lord" which is where I hope my heart truly is. Perhaps my faith will be strengthened in my silent waiting this Lent as Jesus walks with me, just as He walked with the bewildered disciples coming down from the mountain.

(Comments to Lanie at lanieleblanc@onebox.com.)