Ordinary 33
Ordinary 33
by Lanie LeBlanc, OP

Every year at this time I start to feel that the previous months have whizzed by much too fast. I use the time in November to re-examine the events of the year and to see how exactly I have spent my time. I try to save December for Advent and preparation; sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't. Every year, it seems, I am saddened by some things undone and that have happened but gladdened by the things done and other happenings. My first thought as I read these readings was that one day, I won't have that opportunity.

That is a sobering thought. Each year, the readings about the end of the world say that this end time is just a little closer. That, too , is sobering. What catches me by surprise is that it is sobering... after all, I do try to live my life daily according to what I think God wants me to do. Why do I feel the way I do?

Maybe it is my humanity or the change in the comfortableness of routine that catches me off-guard. The need to do a spiritual check-up is pre-cautionary for one who is not perfect. I gotta do better!!!

Then I remember that it is not my merits that will make me among the "elect" who will be gathered in safety from the four winds. Will I be among the wise and those who lead others to justice as Daniel tells us? Not if my efforts, no matter how well-intentined are the criteria. I am just not perfect.

No, in order to be wise, I have to remember that God is God and I am not! Jesus has won salvation for us. I need to respond to that fact in love by loving others and bringing them closer to God as best I can. I have to trust. I have to believe that it is God's mercy and only His mercy that saves all of us from eternal damnation. Maybe when I fully realize what that means will I be able to accept who I am and who each of us is. We are each loved by God, no more than anyone else, and no less than anyone else. Maybe then I can live in God's love without the edginess of a periodic spiritual check-up . Maybe then I can fully acknowledge who I am and rely fully on the Divine Physician for wholeness. This over -the-counter, self-help stuff doesn't work anyway!

These readings proclaim a cause for joy, even if it seems hidden at first. It is uplifting to realize that although we have misguided efforts and shortcomings, they will not thwart the Plan of God. I believe that it is in God's mercy that we are "written in the book". What a joyful party it will be with His guest list, not ours!

(Comments to Lanie at lanieleblanc@onebox.com.)