Acts 16: 16-34 (links validated 5/19/25a)

("During World War II, when my father was gone to fight in the South Pacific, my mother let me spend one night a week with my great aunt Orpha. She was the one who first taught me about prayer. I shared her bed because her unmarried sister and brothers occupied the three other bedrooms in her house. As I went to sleep, Orpha would remind me of the picture that hung over the sewing machine in her room...")

Of Paul and Silas it is said There were in Prison laid But when they went to take them out They were not there instead. Security the same insures To our assaulted Minds -- The staple must be optional That an Immortal binds.

When my big sister was 6 she prayed and prayed every night for a baby sister. My mother Peggy had what is called RH factor , which there was no treatment for in the 60’s like there is now. Her blood created anti-bodies against the blood of her babies and it grew worse with each subsequent pregnancy. Peggy had beat the odds with 2 healthy babies and was told she could not have another – also she was on birth control…so every night when my big sister Barbara prayed and prayed for a baby sister my mom was like, “yeah…keep praying”. And then despite the odds and despite the birth control, Peggy got pregnant with me. And despite the odds and despite what every Doctor said, she gave birth to me. And despite the odds and despite fact that the nurses told her not to try and breastfeed me, since I wasn’t going to live and if I did she would only make me more sick, yes despite this all my mother nursed me and while she did she prayed and she sang hymns. When they finally took me home, they basically handed me to my big sister and was like, “here”...

One night when Jacquelyn and I were in Italy for dinner, I failed to argue over the bill. Arguing over the bill is a standard part of dinner in Italy, in fact routinely the maitre’d offers a glass of grappa, which smells like kerosene and tastes like moonshine, while the bill is discussed. I barely knew enough Italian to order the meal, let alone argue about it and anyway food in Italy is cheap, so I was happy. We’d been out to a fancy dinner, the bill was about 30 bucks, which translated into about 50,000 lire. No problem. But the waiter saw a problem: I wasn’t arguing, I was just shuffling through my billboard sized Italian currency, looking for a 50,000 lire note. So he began to argue on my behalf. The maitre’d said something back and within moments they were off and running, the Italian was flowing hot and fast, we were ready to go, so I put down an extra bill for the tip, said goodbye and we left as they continued. That’s how I imagine that marketplace: full of talk, full of bartering...

Jailers (guards, bulls, screws, turnkeys, or whatever they’re called) are regularly subject to the threat of physical harm or death, vile verbal abuse, and attempts at manipulation. They are overworked, underpaid, scrutinized constantly by supervisors, threatened by inmates, and need to be 100% vigilant 100% of the time. When they’re not being totally stressed-out, they’re probably bored mindless by the repetitive nature of their work.

A farmer had a fine stallion that one day escaped and ran off. The farmer's neighbors commiserated with him. "What bad luck you have," they said sadly. But the farmer responded, "Who really knows? It could be bad. But it could also be good." Sure enough, the very next day, the stallion returned followed by twelve wild and healthy young steeds. "How fortunate you are!" exclaimed the neighbors. "Who knows," countered the farmer to his neighbors' surprise, "if it is good fortune or not?" Not long after, the farmer's strapping son attempted to break one of the wild horses when he tumbled and shattered his leg. "How unlucky you are!" exclaimed the neighbors. The farmer shrugged his shoulders and asked again, "Who knows if it is bad luck or good?...

("By God's grace the Holy Spirit helps believers learn about God's creation designs and what it means to live happily within them. That takes time, of course--a lifetime even. Perhaps it's rather like a marriage. It takes a matter of seconds to speak your vows and so get married...")

"Hogan's Heroes is the wacky tv series from the '60s and '70s, set in "Stalag 13", a Prisoner of War for camp in Germany. Presided over by the totally inept Colonel Wilhelm Klink and Sargent Hans Schultz this camp is apparently the only one from which no prisoner has ever escaped; a fact which Klink is always reminding his sceptical superiors...."

Apparently the following joke has been declared “the best religious joke of all time”. It was written by a comic Philip Soltenac, who goes by the stage name of Emo Phillips. Please, keep in mind Philips is an American and may be referring to American denominations, OR he may have made them up!! “Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I ran over and said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?" He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!" Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.”...

I do not sing well, but I sing. I sing especially in times when I have to. My earliest memory of singing is when I used to walk home from elementary school in wintertime along the narrow dirt road to our family home. On one side of the road was the lake, on the other side was the mountain where all sorts of hungry ferocious animals lay in wait for a young six year old boy. So I would walk along and sing that song “Whenever I feel afraid, I hold my head erect, And whistle a happy tune, So no one will suspect, I'm afraid.” I am convinced to this day that my singing that song scared all the beasts away...

In 2006, a congregation in Hollywood, Florida, became concerned about the AIDS epidemic around the world. A couple of friends there were inspired to find a way to make a difference. Shortly after that, one of them noticed an article in the local paper about the spread of HIV in Haiti. That was shared in the congregation, and some additional members began exploring what might be done there. About that time, one church member who had friends who attended a Jewish synagogue in town, asked the church pastor if he thought the church might be interested in teaming up with the synagogue for work in Haiti. The pastor asked the rabbi, and soon a partnership was born. Yes, the two congregations were from different faiths, but in terms of their interests in the world, they belonged to the same moral community. Eventually, these partnered congregations sent folks to Haiti, where they connected with the pastor of a Haitian congregation that was struggling to operate an orphanage for HIV-infected children. That congregation was long on service, but short on funds. The Florida congregations committed themselves to raising the funds needed for food, clothing, and medical supplies. In the six years since getting started, the work of these three partnered congregations has gone even farther. They have started supporting other orphanages and helped purchase more than 1,000,000 deworming pills for starving Haitians. Observers there agree that there are many hundreds, perhaps thousands, of children in Haiti today who wouldn’t be alive without the work of these three congregations...

Thirty-six years is a long time. Archie Williams knows exactly how long it is. That’s how many years he spent in Louisiana’s infamous Angola Prison for a crime he didn’t commit. In 1982, Archie was 22 years old when he was arrested for rape andattempted murder. He was 58 thispast March, when a court clearedhim of allcharges. You may have seen the story in the news.There were fingerprints found at the crime scene, and the police knew they didn’t match Archie’s. But the victim had picked him out of a police lineup as her attacker. So he went to prison.For years, Archie requested that the fingerprints found at the crime scene be run through the FBI’s national database, to see if they matched anyone else’sprints. No one — neither in 1982, nor in all the years since, had done that — until this March. The fingerprints matched those of a man who had committed a string of similar crimes, in the same year, in the same area. Based on the new evidence, the court threw out his conviction.Reporters asked Archie, after his release, if he held a grudge against the victim who had wrongly identified him 36 years before.“God does not let me hold grudges against anyone,” he said. He went on to say that recent events made him feel like Joseph —the biblical son of Jacob who spent years as a slave in Egypt, before being raised up to a high position in the Pharaoh’s court...

Consider including The Heidelberg Catechism questions 47 and 49 somewhere in the liturgy as they address the implications of Jesus’ ascension and the even-now presence of the Resurrected Christ in heaven in a way that aptly illustrates the hope and longing of this morning’s passage: Q: But isn’t Christ with us until the end of the world as he promised us? A: Christ is true human and true God. In his human nature Christ is not now on earth; but in his divinity, majesty, grace and Spirit he is never absent from us. Thus, the miracles that Peter could accomplish, the thankfulness Paul and Silas could express even when beaten and imprisoned and the hope they could hold out for those oppressed by the world as it is demonstrate that, by the power of the Spirit, Christ is not absent from us. Question 49 asks, “How does Christ’s ascension to heaven benefit us?” The last part of the answer includes this assurance, “He sends his Spirit to us on earth as a corresponding pledge. By the Spirit’s power we seek not earthly things but the things above, where Christ is, sitting at God’s right hand.” So, too, when we long for and act toward the amelioration of spiritual, economic, political and social oppression, we are learning to shape our desires more to the kingdom of heaven than the kingdom of earth.

Hogan's Heroes is the wacky tv series from the '60s and '70s, set in "Stalag 13", a Prisoner of War for camp in Germany. Presided over by the totally inept Colonel Wilhelm Klink and Sargent Hans Schultz this camp is apparently the only one from which no prisoner has ever escaped; a fact which Klink is always reminding his skeptical superiors...

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