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- Humor for Mother's Day
- Your gentle guidance has immeasurably influenced all that I have done, all that I do, and all that I will ever do. Your spirit is indelibly imprinted on all that I have been, all that I am, and all that I will ever be. Thus, you are a part of all that I accomplish and all that I become. And so it is that when I help my neighbor, your helping hand is there also. When I ease the pain of a friend, they owe a debt to you. When I show a child a better way, either by word or by example, you are the teacher once removed. Because everything I do reflects values learned from you, any wrong that I right, any heart I may brighten, any gift that I share, or burden I may lighten, is in its own small way a tribute to you. Because you gave me life, and more importantly, lessons in how to live, you are the wellspring from which flows all good I may achieve in my time on earth. For all that you are and all that I am, thank you, Mom.
- "Being a first time mother at age 47, (now 50) I realize that not only is this a special day for all mothers, but a very special day for me to give thanks to the Lord for allowing me to experience this day. I know how many times I shed tears on Mothers' Day because I had not been so blessed. On this day I remember the other women, who still yearn for a child of their own to hold, love, caress and care for, and I remember to say a prayer for them. I also say a prayer for the aborted babies who were never allowed to know a mother's love. I will say a prayer of thanks for my daughter's birth mother, who allowed me to be the mom I am, and for all the birth mothers out there who make the decision to let their child be adopted, rather than aborted. Her precious gift to me, was surely the most unselfish gift of love she could give to my daughter. I will celebrate, I will pray, and I will remember."...
- Mother is always there when you need her. She helps, protects, listens, advises and nurtures physically and morally. She makes sure that her family is loved 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 52 weeks a year. At least that's how I remember my mother, for the few precious years I was blessed to have her. But no words can describe the sacrifice she made out of love for me, her young son. I was 19 years old, and I was being taken to a concentration camp with a large group of other Jews. It was clear that we were destined to die. There was another group of Jews who had passes and these were going to remain in the ghetto. As I passed by my mother, at the last possible moment and without being noticed by the Nazi officers, she handed me her card and then took my place in the line. And although it was more than 50 years ago, I will never forget her last words to me and her good-bye look. "I have lived long enough," she said. "You have to survive because you are so young."And I never saw her again. Most kids are born only once. I was given birth twice - by the same mother...
- ("My mother and I never had one of those cutesy 'dress in matching mother-daughter clothes' relationships. But it was good, until my teenage years when my mother became my opponent in a battle of wills. In the confused, uncertain mind of a teenager, this translated to, 'She doesn't care, understand or love me.'...")
- ("I love the story in Chicken Soup for the Christian Soul where author Bev Hulsizer tells of her mother's hands. (1) At first she got angry with her mother because her mother's hands were so badly crippled that she could not tie the bow on her own dress. As she helped her mother, her anger was changed to compassion...")
- A man was boarding an airplane one day. As he came on board, he happened to notice that the head of the plane's cockpit flight crew was a woman. That was no problem. Still, it was a new experience for him. As he found his seat, he noticed three persons sitting immediately behind him. One was a young boy about six or seven years of age. Next to him was a man in his early thirties. And next to the man was a woman in her early sixties. The man could not help overhearing the conversation among these three persons as the plane made final plans for departure from the gate. It was not long before he realized that they were the woman pilot's family. The boy was her son. The man was her husband. And the older woman was her mother. Suddenly he realized why the family was on the plane. This was the first time the woman pilot had been the head of a flight crew! They were there to honor her promotion. The plane taxied down the runway and poised itself for takeoff. The engines began to roar, and the plane gained speed quickly. Within seconds they were airborne. As the plane began to ascend the bank to the south, the six-year-old boy began to applaud! "Way to go, Mom. Way to go!"...
- Mona Lisa's mother: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?" Humpty Dumpty's mother: "Humpty, if I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!" Christopher Columbus' mother: "I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!" Michelangelo's mother: "Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?" Napoleon's mother: "All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!" Jonah's mother: "That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've really been for the last three days."
- ("'Back in the mid-1950's, Theodor Geisel railed and revolted against the boringly banal primers forced on first time readers. His books, penned under the now famous name of 'Dr. Seuss', transformed reading to our little ones from dull and dreary tales of 'Dick and Jane' to the lyrical fun of 'The Cat in the Hat'....")
- Updated: Dec 31, 1969
- Checked: last Wednesday, 9:40 am Resources: 128