Homiletic Monologue

Where are we headed? God, hold me up. I am falling.

Just a few hours ago, we were celebrating Passover. During the seder, he held up a pita and tore it in half. He said, “Take, eat; this is my body, given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” I didn't understand. I just stared at him. We passed the bread around and ate. The room was quiet from bewilderment tinted with holiness. I chewed the bread. The wheat flavor was rich, the texture gritty. I thought, “This is his body. This is his body.” What does that mean?

Later, he held up the chalice. He said, “Take this; drink. This is my blood given for you and for all for the forgiveness of sins. Do this in remembrance of me.” He passed the chalice. We each drank. The tart wine warmed my chest. His blood. Drinking blood. How strange. What does that mean? I could spend a lifetime thinking about that. I will.

“Do this in remembrance of me,” he said. I will do it in remembrance of him. At least I can get that right, I hope.

Maybe I can somehow make up for the horrible sin I committed against him. Can I? Will I? Can I ever do enough to make up for what I did against him this morning?

This morning, this morning, I denied him. To protect myself, I said three times that I did not know him. The first time was in response to a servant girl. What a weakling I am, letting a servant girl intimidate me. Some rock. A little while later, I denied him again. An hour after that, I denied him a third time. I got defensive. I swore an oath. I hissed, “I do not know him!”

Then I heard the rooster. I remembered what he had said: “Before the rooster crows twice you will deny me three times.” In response, I had said, “Never. Even if I have to die for you, I will never deny you.” Blah, blah, blah. Empty talk. Typical me. A whole lot of talk, but, when the pressure's on, I crumble. I'm not a rock. I denied him. To save myself, I said I did not know him. I chickened out. I failed. I'm a coward. O!

God, forgive me. [Lean over font.] Hold me up. Hold me up.

(from www.goodpreacher.com/blog/)