by Penney Rahm
Mark 10: 17-22
Judah was young and proud. He was wealthy. He was well-respected in his community, a member of the Sanhedrin. His home was filled with obedient servants and opulent furnishings. Only the best foods graced his tables. His handsome looks, strong physique and head full of curly brown hair made him the envy of men and the secret desire of women.
Judah was one of the few who had everything that one could want. He had wealth. He had status. He had power. He had a beautiful wife and six handsome sons. He had religion and kept the commandments thoroughly. Judah was secure.
All who knew Judah wished that they could have his riches, his power, and his prestige---or even just one of these. Everyone knew that Judah was one of the happiest, most contented men in all Israel. He must have been. He had everything.
But few people knew Judah intimately. Even his wife did not. If they had known him, they would have discovered his secret. Judah was not happy. Judah was not content. His wealth and status and religion gave him security and pride, but they did not give him joy.
Judah kept thinking, "There must be something I am missing. If I can find it, I will purchase it. If it is a lack of knowledge, I will study and learn it. If something is missing in my religion, I will discover it and do what needs to be done. This feeling of dis-ease and restlessness mad him feel guilty. After all, he had everything. God had blessed him beyond measure. He should be thankful and happy.
One day he heard of a new rabbi who was preaching and teaching throughout the countryside. Judah traveled to hear him speak. In Jesus, Judah saw a man full of a peace and joy he had not dared dream possible.
He listened to Jesus proclaim the poor were blessed, that to follow him would mean denying himself and taking up a cross, and that there was no need to worry about food and clothes because God would take care of his own. He heard that the first would be last and that the greatest would be the least. He listened intently to stories of lost coins, good Samaritans, mustard seeds, good fathers and their prodigal sons, and wildly generous employers. He heard Jesus speak of a new kingdom--God's kingdom. Everything he heard contradicted his lifestyle, but it made him hungry to hear more.
He felt a longing to speak privately with Jesus and seek his advice. He had a sense that Jesus could tell him what he needed to do to find happiness--or at least contentment.
His friends soon grew tired of his talking about Jesus. Many of them had heard Jesus speak. But in their eyes, Jesus was an idealistic fool or a trouble-maker. He was stirring up the poor and opening their eyes to new possibilities. All of Judah's associates wished Jesus would go away. Many of his colleagues on the Sandedrin wanted to have him arrested, flogged, and imprisoned. Some even wished his death. That would quiet his criticism of their way of life and their interpretation of the law.
But Judah kept returning to hear Jesus speak. The more he listened, the more he knew that Jesus had the answer to his seeking heart. Finally, after many days, Judah dared to break his silence. He called out to Jesus, "Good teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?"
He did not hear the contradiction in his own question. He asked about inheriting eternal life. A lawyer could have told him that here was nothing he could do to inherit. An inheritance is a gift. Yet Judah was looking for a way to earn that gift.
Jesus did not answer Judah directly. Instead he replied, "You know the commandments." Then he listed several.
Judah listened intently, checking them off in his mind. Trying to be truthful, yet also trying to justify himself, Judah said, "I have kept them since I was a youth."
Jesus could see in Judah a sincere searching. He was not trying to trick Jesus. Jesus looked into Judah's heart. He could see the conflict, the wrestling, the internal struggle. His heart was filled with love and compassion for this young man. He knew the words he was about to speak would challenge Judah to the core. Looking Judah in the eye, Jesus answered, "Sell all you have and distribute it to the poor--and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come and follow me."
Judah was stunned. He could not believe what he was hearing. Sadness and regret welled up within him. How could he give up everything? After all, wasn't his wealth a sign of God's pleasure in him? If he gave up his wealth, where would he and his family live, how would they eat? What would his friends say? The Sanhedrin would throw him off the council. Everyone would look at him as if he were demon-possessed.
He barely heard Jesus talking to the crowds about how difficult it was for a rich man to inherit the kingdom of God.
How could Jesus demand that of him? There were others in the crowd with money--did Jesus make the same demands on them?
He heard someone in a voice filled with panic cry out, "If a rich man has such a hard time entering the kingdom--who can be saved?"
Jesus' calm voice echoed in his ears and in his heart, "What is impossible with people is possible with God."
Judah walked away sadly. The more he thought, the more he realized the extent of what Jesus wanted him to do. Jesus wanted him to give up all his security. With no money he would lose his standing in the community. His friends would avoid him like the plague. His wife would laugh at him. His sons would be ashamed. To give away his wealth would mean he could not rely on himself for his salvation. Slowly he realized that even giving away the money would not earn him eternal life.
Judah knew that Jesus wanted him to rely only on God and on Jesus' promise that God was faithful. Judah knew that Jesus wanted him to choose between his own wealth and status or his faith in Jesus.
Judah wanted to trust Jesus. He knew that somehow Jesus was the key--the foundation--the cornerstone of the kingdom of God and of eternal life. Deep within himself he sensed the edge of joy and peace, if he could just let go.
But Judah would not make that leap into the arms of Jesus. Judah knew that Jesus could not go on much longer. Too many of Judah's friends and associates, leaders like himself on the Sanhedrin, would see that he was stopped, his ministry ended, the threat of upheaval extinguished. Jesus was dangerous. Judah knew that now.
Jesus promised the way to eternal life, but Judah knew that soon Jesus would die. He did not want it to be so, but he realized that it was inevitable. Jesus was a threat to their way of life. If left alone, Jesus would turn everything upside down. The Pharisees, chief priests and scribes simply would not allow that to happen. Jesus would have to die.
Judah was afraid of dying. He did not see how the death of Jesus could bring about the kingdom. And he certainly did not see that following Jesus would bring him anything but humiliation, rejection and death. Jesus was going to be a loser and Judah knew there was no peace to be found in losing everything.
Finally, with great sadness, Judah returned home. He resumed his family life with renewed fervor. He savored the fine foods. He returned to the synagogue with a fresh zeal to instruct the people in the law. Obedience to the law would please God and bring blessing. This was his truth. He would not stray from it again.
He began to join his colleagues at the Sanhedrin in criticizing Jesus and watching his every move. Judah knew from first hand experience that Jesus was sly and insidious. Judah knew how close he had come to succumbing to Jesus' charm and mystique. And he was an educated man. Just imagine the droves of ignorant paupers who would follow his baseless promises. Jesus was a madman, a false prophet who intended to disrupt the social order and ruin the lives of the those who had power and wealth and security.
Who did that Jesus think he was anyway? The Messiah?
In time, Judah did not notice the aching emptiness in his heart. It had hardened nicely.
A short time later, Jesus was arrested. Judah took a front row seat at the trial. In the darkness that was not caused only by the night, he voted with the others to condemn Jesus. Judah did not stop to wonder why he could not look Jesus in the eye. Jesus died that Friday. Executed on a cross. A criminal. A madman. A false prophet.
Although Judah never believed the stories, Jesus Christ--the Messiah--was raised from the dead three days later. By his death and resurrection he brought eternal life to all who believed. Judah rejected the gift, for it was bought with a price that all his wealth could not pay.
Judah never realized that he himself died that Friday. Twenty years passed before his heart stopped beating. And on that day, he left all his wealth and power behind him--forever.
(Send comments to Penney at penneyr@prodigy.net)